If I never knew you, if I never felt this love, I would have no inkling of how precious life could be

It's been a while since I last wrote on here so I felt it was finally time to update (and for those of you who are thinking that I wrote the little French blog, I actually didn't and haven't gotten around to delete it; the credit for that actually goes to Rebekah).
So, fall is finally in the air and it's actually getting cooler and the leaves are starting to look like the season (though a few weeks late). It's actually been quite odd how warm it's been this fall. I don't remember ever being able to wear a t-shirt minus jacket in the beginning of October. Maybe there is something to all the global warming hype. Just to clarify my last statement, there's some things dealing with global warming that I question but I am all up for doing my part to keep the earth as clean as possible (unlike other people I know).
School is going relatively well and I think I'm not hating it so much this year. Part of it might be that I'm really excited about the prospects of graduating in May.
Tomorrow I get my hair cut and going to attempt to get a somewhat different style than I normally have it but we'll see how I end up styling it in the end. I'm always a little concerned about getting my hair cut since, for some reason, how my hair looks is a big thing for me and my life tends to feel semi-over if I'm not able to get it styled or looking just right. I feel like I sound like a brat right now. Anyway, I may post pictures tomorrow of what the result looks like unless I hate it so badly that I stick a paper bag over my head.

Today's the day so come on bring it on

Well, after about a month or 2 of not blogging, I decided it was probably time that I should write a little something on here. I think it's beginning to get a bit lonely. I just got back from camp which I had an awesome time at though I will admit that it wasn't easy but it was still great. On top of having a great time, I got some nasty burns and heat rash that are slowly going away and turning into a nice tan. Not sure if the tan was totally worth the pain of the burn and rash but at least I wasn't trying to get burned on purpose like some people I know (won't mention any names but they will know who they are if they happen to read this). I don't think that I would be able to say everything that happened at camp. I will say that one of the more memorable moments of camp (of many memorable moments) was seeing Tyler, Andrew and Brandon wearing baseball caps with unicorn horns stuck to it and hearing Andrew and Brandon talk in really weird voices. So wish that I had a picture or video of it. Oh well.

Other than camp, my days have been filled with computer, tv, reading, shopping and a bit of housework. I'm hoping August will have a little more in store for me but we shall see. At least I can say that something interesting happened during the last full week of July that was fun, exciting, stressful at times and totally worth my energy. Anyway, missing everyone from camp but glad to be home in the city and smog ;).

Just as a side note, the picture above is from last year at camp.

Look out at the ocean, don't know where it ends. Look up to the heavens, where do they begin?

Spring seems to finally be showing up. The trees are starting to show signs of life and the garden is sprouting flowers (along with weeds :( ). The temperature is slowly going up and Sarah and Bek have managed to get their first burn of the season (which will result in a nice dark tan compared to my pasty white skin; oh well).

The strain of Mother's day has come once again as I wrack my brain to think of what I can get my mom that tells her that I love her and appreciate all that she does for me. Should I do a pedicure (not me myself but take her to some professional place and get a pedicure done), get some nicely sented thing that she can use to make the house smell more wonderful than it already smells, make breakfast for her and serve it to her while she's in bed? Scratch the last one since she hates breakfast in bed and I'm pretty sure dad will concock something 10x better than I could ever do (either him or Sarah). Perhaps jewellery of some sort. Oh well, maybe a day at the mall can give me a good idea of what to get.

I am slowly going through my list of movies having been able to take "Miss Congeniality 2" off and deciding that it would probably be better if I didn't watch "The Departed". Not much I can say about MC2. It was slightly humorous but not my favorite. Also recently watched "Blades of Glory" in theatres. Good for taking your mind off of school (I think I've forgotten pretty much everything I've ever learned); other than that not much I can really say aside from groan at the thought of the movie (some will find it hilarious, others will groan throughout the whole movie).

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Just as a side note for those of you wondering what the picture and title have to do with this, the title is a line to a song that just randomly popped into my head and I thought the picture kind of goes with the title so I stuck in on :D.

The lights go out all around me; one last candle to keep out the night

Those who actually visit this blog will probably notice that I made a couple changes to it. What happens when you have some time on your hands and feel semi-bored (for those on facebook, you'll probably have no two clue what I'm talking about if you actually read this on there). Anyway, I felt that this template suited me a bit better than the last one though I may switch back to it or change things up at some point in time.
It has been wonderfully beautiful out lately (or at least until this afternoon) and I suddenly had the urge to write but have nothing to talk about (I'm rather uninspired right now). I suppose that's what happens when school ends and the stresses associated with school are suddenly taken away. Oh well.
In 3 days, a good friend of mine is getting married (putting the count on married friends up to 5) which is really exciting though there is always a slight melancholy associated with it for me since there is that slight bit of envy that pops up now and then. Envy and self-pity that they have found there true love and I am still waiting to run into mine. Oh well, I'll get over it quick enough and eventually, when I hit the age of 30, I will accept the fact that God has intended for me to live my life out as an old spinster who always catches the wedding bouquets but never is able to use them (I've actually never caught a wedding bouquet in my life but thought it sounded pretty good and sad). I then try pulling out of my melancholy by thinking that I'm extremely happy being single and don't have to worry about how much I have to spend on presents for the guy during the special days such as birthday, Christmas, Valentine's, and anniversary, I'm not going through emotional turmoil when the guy forgets those special occasions mentioned, and I'm saving money in not having to hire spys to make sure that the guy isn't cheating on me (ok, I would never do the last one but it was a fun thought). There are other thoughts but I can't think of them right now and the ones I've thought of have made me feel better already :D.
So, the above being said, you can probably guess that I'm not a huge fan of romantic commedies or romantic movies in general (except for one). It actually puts me in a worse melancholic mood than anything else. I actually come away from romantic movies feeling somewhat ticked and want to watch something involving death and killing right away (which, the news would probably a good place to turn for that but it tends to not have the right plot and storyline). Anyway, a taste of my evil, non-loving side.

Name that song

Slightly more light hearted than my last entry. I'm going to do the whole random 40 songs thing where I will list the first line of 40 songs that were played randomly on my windows media player library (unless they are Japanese, Chinese, French songs or instrumental). If you recognize the song, state the name of the song and the artist who sings it (without using google). Each song that is guessed correctly I will delete from the list. There are some songs that have more than one artist/group of artists that sing it and I will accept either one. Sarah and Rebekah can guess as long as they don't go searching in the windows media library. Have fun :).


1. I've been driving for an hour just talking to the rain
2.
3. Can I ask you a question please
4. We are the pirates who don't do anything
5. Have you ever seen such a beautiful night
6. When you're feeling lonely, lost and let down
7. I spent a day by the river
8. How I love your works, my God, my King
9. She's independent and beautiful, wish I could be like her
10. My own home, my own home, my own home, my own home
11. Tell everybody I'm on my way
12. What cha doing tonight, I wish I could be a fly on your wall
13. I am full of earth
14. When you find yourself in some far off place
15. There are things in life you'll learn and
16. Yeah I know it hurts, yeah I know your scared
17. If weakness is a word that no one wants to speak of
18. This time, this place, misused, mistakes
19. Rain, rain on my face
20. I couldn't catch my breath
21. I'm American made, but I like Chevrolet
22. Lets go back, back to the beginning
23. Come stop your crying, it will be all right
24. Always look on the bright side of life
25. Lights go out and I can't be saved
26. I've been thinking it over, taking the time to find words
27. Run away, run away, breath this in the waters way, waters way
28. I pray you'll be our eyes
29. Open up your eyes and see these warning signs
30. I'm an angel, I'm a devil, I am sometimes in between
31. Everybody look at me, me
32. The gold of Cortes, the Jewels of Pizarro
33. You think you're going nowhere when you're walking down the street
34. There's a song that's inside of my soul
35. Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride or a perfect daughter
36. Down here in the valley every shadow you see has its own story
37.
38. Sun kisses the window sill and I am still on my second cup of pitty me
39. Come to decide that the things that I tried
40. Pride is all we have now

Last day of the rest of my life. I wish I would have known cause I'd have kissed my momma good-bye.

It's interesting how things can change your perspective. About half an hour ago I was semi-rejoicing over the fact that I finished my last final exam and don't have to think about school for the next 4 months or so (I say semi cause I'm a bit worried about how I did :S ). I then go on the net and find out that 31 university students were killed this morning. It's a rather frightening and depressing thought that someone like me was at that university, possibly studying for one of their final exams or working on a report and suddenly is shot dead.
What drives people to go and kill people like that? It doesn't make sense to me at all. I guess on the reverse side, what makes it wrong to do that if there are no moral absolutes? Who determines what is right and what is wrong if all morals can be questioned? From an athiest/evolutionary perspective, we're all just animals anyway and our only purpose is to keep our species alive by producing offspring which, according to ecologists, we're doing too well and acctually hitting a point where we're over populating the earth. So is this evolutions way of controlling the population by breeding murderers along with those who are unable to reproduce whether by some genetic mutation or because they have decided that their orientation causes them to be unable to reproduce?
So back to moral absolutes, I've pretty much been told since my teen years that there are no moral absolutes. So, does that mean war isn't wrong since who has the authority to say that it is or isn't wrong especially since, according to evolutionary science, there is no God. What about terrorist attacks and stealing? Aside from making us scared and uncomfortable, what makes it morally wrong if nothing is absolute? When people do those things, isn't it morally correct to them? Do we as individuals and as a group have any right to say whether what someone did was wrong or not?
Another tangent, should we bother interfering with things that happen in other coutries that are war torn and having genocides? Should we help people who are starving to death because of a famine? Isn't it natures course and isn't it a possible way that evolution is using to control the amount of people on earth? According to black ecologists, 2/3 of the world population needs to die for the human population to be at the optimum size for the earth to support it.
Anyway, now that I've probably got several people angry at me, I'll just clarify that these were thoughts that have been going through my mind and don't necessarily reflect my personal beliefs, however, I'd be interested if anyone had any answers to the questions that I have posed without using any sort of religion to justify there answer (as I continue to sink deeper into the boiling pot).
For once, the song title does somewhat relate to the post unlike in the previous posts. Don't get to use to it though :D.

Stand in the rain, stand your ground, stand up when it's all crashing down.

As a few people have noticed already, the names that I've been choosing for my blog entries haven't exactly been matching what I've been talking about. That is because I am unoriginal and have decided to just not bother with the hassle of making up some interesting name and just use words from songs. This particular song is actually one of my favorite songs and is song by the group called Superchic[k].

Again, I am slightly procrastinating on something I should be working on but just can't seem to get my head into doing it. I do have some of it done but am having problems finishing it. Oh well, at around 12 am tonight I'll probably suddenly feel motivated.

I am actually starting to feel motivated right now but we'll see how long that lasts. Anyway, must go grade outlines and do science paper plus work on dossier (blah).

Here I am, this is me, there's no where else on earth I'd rather be.

I am taking a slight break from homework right now. I figured I needed a slight break before getting back to the grind. I've actually accomplished a great deal with homework tonight (okay, not really but I did have a bit of progress).
I shall not spend the blog discussing and will instead other events that are going on in life. Tonight was the church's general meeting and the main focus of the meeting was to vote on whether or not to change the name of the church. The result of the vote was to change the name. So, Temple Baptist Church is now Stone-Ridge Fellowship Baptist Church. I will not express my thoughts on the subject since it has been voted on and is now a done deal. All I can say is I will learn to get use to the new name.
To end, I thought it would be educational to think about blogging. I'm really not that deep; I just saw this entry on a friend's blog and thought that it was so well written that I would share it with others. So enjoy :).

So this is my first time actually doing a blog and I have pondered what exactly makes a blog successful. Is it the blogger's natural ability to blog? Do they get a lot of views and comments due to having an extensive web of friends? In trying to get in touch with my nerdier side, I have decided to look up a few definitions.

blog:
- A short form for weblog, a frequent and chronological publication of comments and thoughts on the web. They usually include philosophical reflections, opinions on the Internet and social or political issues.
- A public web site where users post informal journals of their thoughts, comments, and philosophies, updated frequently and normally reflecting the views of the blog creator's thoughts and comments...can do...philosophies = problem)

blogging:
- the act of writing in one's blog (duh)

blogger:
- a person who keeps and updates a blog...also the name of Google's blogging service

I've even decided to search Google for what makes a successful blog. You can find it too at
- http://ezinearticles.com/?13-Steps-to-Successful-Blogging&id=44258
- http://www.entrepreneurs-journey.com/404/beginner-blogging/
- http://davebriggs.net/index.php?p=109

Some useful tips I found were
- update daily
- keep it short and concise
- digital art
- keep it personal
- link, link and comment
- make sure your presentation is good
- be interesting, even controversial, but not stupid (hmmm...might have to work on that one)
- be funny
- interact with your visitory by creating a regular theme such as "Monday Money Tip" or "Picture of the Week"
- start commenting on others blogs

When you walk away, you won't hear me say "please, oh baby, don't go".

I am in one of those moods where I feel like writing but not writing the stuff I should be writing. I am a horrible procrastinator which explains those may nights that I will stay up till 3 or 4am to finish writing something. This year has been the worst of my procrastinations though, as much as I am against New Year's resolutions, I have decided to make it my resolution to do better in not procrastinating as much. We'll see how successful I will end up being. So far it's not looking to promising as papers loom on the horizon.
Actually I'm not doing too horribly bad. I'm just a bit frustrated with the research on one of my papers and have decided to take a break though it would probably be more productive taking a break by working on other homework.
So, the new year has come, school has started and already I can't wait for summer vacation yet there is a slight dread as I think about the fact that there will no longer be anymore summer vacations after this one. A little sad but hopefully I'll be enjoying work so much that I won't miss it. Probably won't happen but I can hope.
For those of you wondering what the title has to do with this, it has absolutely nothing to do with this. It was just one of the songs Sarah was listening to and, not having much inspiration, I decided to use that as a title. Okay, off to write a French paper if I can find stuff for it.

The New Year!

First of all, Happy New Year to everyone! No matter how dismal my following post is, I feel I should start it on a high note and then I will go down hill from there. So, the new year is upon us and I was thinking last night why do we get so excited and throw a party for the new year? Is it the thought that we start out with a clean slate at the beginning of the year and things are going to be all changed and great when we go back to work or school? And if this is the case, how come so many people bring in the new year by getting drunk. While it feels fun at the time, you look like a total looser when you get drunk plus you're ruining your liver; not that I've ever gotten drunk but when watching people get drunk, this is what I see and I can't understand what stupidity has entered their head to make themselves act like idiots. Besides doesn't bringing in the new year drunk kind of ruin the whole "new beginning" thing? Okay, enough of my rant on drinking.
So, why is it that people get so excited and party during New Year's Eve and New Year's Day and fill their heads with hopeless optimism? Is that what keeps them going in their miserable world; thinking that this year will be better than the last year and that they are going to improve themselves by making useless resolutions that they never keep and then they end up finding the year horrible and go through the cycle again when the next new year comes? Or is the whole celebration of the new year something more that I haven't grasped yet?
I'm really not in as dark of a mood as this blog suggests; I'm just in thinking mode and trying to get away from doing some school work that I should work on but don't really want to start until school starts up again though I know it will give me more free time in the end and I won't feel as rushed. I'm also trying to get away from reading a couple of books. I've finished one out of the 3 and have now changed my goal to finishing the other 2 by the end of the month. Whether that happens or not, we shall see. I suppose I should consider that my New Year's resolution since it's somewhat achievable.